I am in a period of life where many of my peers are starting or building on to their families. It is an exciting and difficult time with many mixed emotions as I wrestle with my own losses and hopes for a family yet. Depending on the day, that can be both thrilling and emotionally draining.
As I lay in bed on Mother’s Day eve, I feel my heart beating- Just my one, not our three. Anxious and sad, it goes steadily on. Reminding me of your own little hearts, the ones now gone. With each beat in my chest, I feel and remember. At least for awhile, they all beat… Continue reading Mother’s Day Eve
"I seem to have both writers block and human block right now. I don't know what to say, I don't want to really move, or eat, or do anything. I can hardly think, my brain and my body feel muted. And I feel strangely separated from myself. When I try to remember details about what… Continue reading Human block
Today it is hard for me to feel the Easter joy I see other families celebrating and I think of our boys who we will never be able to celebrate with here on Earth. However, there is great significance in this day and the teaching that even in death there is hope and new life.… Continue reading Earth has no sorrow that Heaven cannot heal
It is heartbreaking to have to share the news that Zack and I miscarried after 18 short but wonderful weeks as parents. We were almost halfway and scheduled in a few weeks for the ultrasound that would have let us know that we were carrying twin boys.